Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a price check at the dollar store Yo momma's so dumb she invented a silent car alarm Yo momma's so dumb and poor that when I came over for dinner she read me recipes Yo momma's so dumb at bottom of application where it says Sign Here she put Sagitarius Yo momma's so dumb she got a part time job painting skittles Yo momma's so dumb she put on her glasses to watch 20/20 Yo momma's so dumb her brain cells are on the endangered species list Yo momma's so dumb her brain cells die ALONE Yo momma's so dumb her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box Yo momma's so dumb her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard Yo momma's so dumb her latest invention was a glass hammer Yo momma's so dumb her shoes say TGIF - toes go in front Yo momma's so dumb I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail Yo momma's so dumb I don't even understand how stupid she is Yo momma's so dumb I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side Yo momma's so dumb I put a ScratchNSniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned Yo momma's so dumb I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino Yo momma's so dumb I said it was chilli outside and she ran in and got a bowl Yo momma's so dumb I said lets go to the superbowl and she ran and got a spoon Yo momma's so dumb I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod Yo momma's so dumb I saw her jumping up and down asked what she was doing and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it Yo momma's so dumb I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope asked what she was doing and she said sending a voice mail Yo momma's so dumb I taught her how to do the running man and I havent seen her since Yo momma's so dumb I think its a new world record Yo momma's so dumb I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it Yo momma's so dumb I told her drinks were on the house so she went and got a ladder Yo momma's so dumb I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart Yo momma's so dumb if brains were dynamite she wouldnt have enough to blow her nose Yo momma's so dumb if brains were gas she wouldnt have enough to power a fleamobile around the inside of a Froot Loop Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you'd get change Yo momma's so dumb instead of taking 4 bus she took the 2 bus twice Yo momma's so dumb it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg Yo momma's so dumb it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch Yo momma's so dumb it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hour virus Yo momma's so dumb it takes 2 of her to listen to music Yo momma's so dumb it takes 2 of her to watch tv Yo momma's so dumb it takes 4 of her to screw in a light bulb Yo momma's so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes Yo momma's so dumb it takes her 4 hours to watch a 1 hour movie Yo momma's so dumb it takes her an hour to cook minute rice Yo momma's so dumb it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles Yo momma's so dumb on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911 Yo momma's so dumb people were askin her for crack and she bent over and said here Yo momma's so dumb she actually thinks these jokes are funny Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken Yo momma's so dumb she asked for help to use Hamburger Helper Yo momma's so dumb she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said Guess so she said Levis Yo momma's so dumb she asked me what yield meant I said Slow down and she said What does yield mean? Yo momma's so dumb she asked me whats that letter after X and I said Y she said Cause I want to know Yo momma's so dumb she asked me Whats the number for 911? Yo momma's so dumb she asked what time is the 12:00 lunch Yo momma's so dumb she bought a solarpowered flashlight Yo momma's so dumb she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home Yo momma's so dumb she brought a cup to the movie Juice Yo momma's so dumb she brought a doughnut back to tha shop cause it had a hole in it Yo momma's so dumb she called Dan Quayle for a spell check Yo momma's so dumb she called the 7-11 store to see when they closed Yo momma's so dumb she called the cocaine hotline to order some Yo momma's so dumb she can't even spell acronyms correctly Yo momma's so dumb she can't find her own house Yo momma's so dumb she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box Yo momma's so dumb she can't pass a drunk test when she is not even drunk Yo momma's so dumb she can't tie her own shoe Yo momma's so dumb she chases parked cars Yo momma's so dumb she climbed a chain link fence to see what was on the other side Yo momma's so dumb she cooked her own complimentary breakfast Yo momma's so dumb she cooks Indian curry with Old Spice Yo momma's so dumb she could not get into the first grade Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't read an audio book Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses Yo momma's so dumb she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the 11 button in 911 Yo momma's so dumb she died boiling water in the toaster Yo momma's so dumb she does not know what she is talking about Yo momma's so dumb she forgets to pick you up at school Yo momma's so dumb she forgets what she is thinking before she even think of it Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W&Ws Yo momma's so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a bathroom and wet her pants Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor Yo momma's so dumb she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down Yo momma's so dumb she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home Yo momma's so dumb she got on her knees to drink her Nehi peach drink Yo momma's so dumb she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial Yo momma's so dumb she got stabbed in a shoot out Yo momma's so dumb she had surgery on her butt and the doctor removed her brain Yo momma's so dumb she has 1 toe and bought a pair of flip flops Yo momma's so dumb she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper Yo momma's so dumb she has to use her fingers for 1 + 1 Yo momma's so dumb she invented a wheelchair with pedals Yo momma's so dumb she jumped off a building in attempt to fly because she thought her maxi pad had wings Yo momma's so dumb she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer: white out is on the screen Yo momma's so dumb she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network Yo momma's so dumb she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner Yo momma's so dumb she makes a chimp look smart Yo momma's so dumb she makes blondes look smart Yo momma's so dumb she makes Bush look smart Yo momma's so dumb she makes me feel dumber just talking to her Yo momma's so dumb she makes the rest of the world seem smarter Yo momma's so dumb she makes toast in the freezer Yo momma's so dumb she married Yo daddy Yo momma's so dumb she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble Yo momma's so dumb she needs twice as much sense to be a halfwit Yo momma's so dumb she noticed a sign reading Wet Floor so she just did Yo momma's so dumb she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a curb Yo momma's so dumb she ordered a cheese burger from McDonalds and said Hold the cheese Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong Yo momma's so dumb she peals M&Ms to make chocolate chip cookies Yo momma's so dumb she put a peep hole in a glass door Yo momma's so dumb she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call Yo momma's so dumb she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out Yo momma's so dumb she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept Yo momma's so dumb she put her watch in the bank to save time Yo momma's so dumb she put light bulbs on a christmas tree Yo momma's so dumb she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind Yo momma's so dumb she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house Yo momma's so dumb she put security cameras in a glass house to see in other rooms Yo momma's so dumb she ran out of gas leaving Texaco Yo momma's so dumb she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather Yo momma's so dumb she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund Yo momma's so dumb she runs around the bed all night trying to catch some sleep Yo momma's so dumb she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager Yo momma's so dumb she sat on a window ledge thinking she'd get framed Yo momma's so dumb she saw a billboard that said Dodge Trucks and she started ducking through traffic Yo momma's so dumb she saw her reflection on the TV and thought she was on Jeopardy Yo momma's so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it Yo momma's so dumb she sold her Car for gas money Yo momma's so dumb she sold her camera to buy film Yo momma's so dumb she sold the house to pay the mortgage Yo momma's so dumb she spent 30 minutes lookin at an orange juice box because it said concentrate Yo momma's so dumb she stands up on an empty bus Yo momma's so dumb she stepped on a crack and broke her own back Yo momma's so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a blood test and failed Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a drug test Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a open book test and failed Yo momma's so dumb she thinks 1 + 1 is 3 Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds Yo momma's so dumb she thinks her twin lives in her mirror Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet Yo momma's so dumb she thinks socialism means partying Yo momma's so dumb she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clockradio Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company Yo momma's so dumb she thinks the cat in the hat is, a cat in a hat Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India Yo momma's so dumb she thinks we are all in the Matrix Yo momma's so dumb she thinks WuTang is an orange flavored drink Yo momma's so dumb she though Titanic was a new flavor of tic tac Yo momma's so dumb she thought 2 Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday Yo momma's so dumb she thought 50 cent was a cheap payperview Yo momma's so dumb she thought a hot meal is stolen food Yo momma's so dumb she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court Yo momma's so dumb she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund Yo momma's so dumb she thought asphalt was a skin disease Yo momma's so dumb she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center Yo momma's so dumb she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake sale Yo momma's so dumb she thought Chingy was what you say when you don't got no more money Yo momma's so dumb she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people Yo momma's so dumb she thought Condelesa Rice was a Mexican Side Dish Yo momma's so dumb she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority Yo momma's so dumb she thought gangrene was another golf course Yo momma's so dumb she thought hamburger helper came with another person Yo momma's so dumb she thought Hot Meals were stolen food Yo momma's so dumb she thought if she woke up fast enough she could see her self sleeping Yo momma's so dumb she thought innuendo was an Italian suppository Yo momma's so dumb she thought Keith Sweat was a Body Odor Yo momma's so dumb she thought menopause was a button on the stereo Yo momma's so dumb she thought meow mix was music for cats Yo momma's so dumb she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station Yo momma's so dumb she thought OJ Simpson some kind of fruit juice Yo momma's so dumb she thought she could get food stamps at the post office Yo momma's so dumb she thought she needed a token to get on soul train Yo momma's so dumb she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project Yo momma's so dumb she thought St Ides was a Catholic church Yo momma's so dumb she thought St Ides was an island in the Caribbean Yo momma's so dumb she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico Yo momma's so dumb she thought Thailand was a mens clothing store Yo momma's so dumb she thought the board of education was a piece of wood Yo momma's so dumb she thought the internet was something you catch fish with Yo momma's so dumb she thought the TV guide was directions to get to the television Yo momma's so dumb she thought WIC meant welfare is cool Yo momma's so dumb she thought Wu Tang was an African orange drink Yo momma's so dumb she threw a rock the ground and missed Yo momma's so dumb she told everyone that she was illegitimate because she couldn't read Yo momma's so dumb she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and don't Walk Yo momma's so dumb she took a coloring book with her to see The Color Purple Yo momma's so dumb she took a cup to see Juice Yo momma's so dumb she took a donut to the repair shop and said it had a hole in it Yo momma's so dumb she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig Yo momma's so dumb she took a knife to a driveby shooting Yo momma's so dumb she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain Yo momma's so dumb she took lessons for a player piano Yo momma's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff Yo momma's so dumb she took you to the drive-in movie theater to see Closed for the season Yo momma's so dumb she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window Yo momma's so dumb she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but she got lost on the way down Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drown a fish Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drown herself in a carpool Yo momma's so dumb she tried to hang herself with a cordless phone Yo momma's so dumb she tried to kill a bird by throwing it off of a cliff Yo momma's so dumb she tried to mail a letter with food stamps Yo momma's so dumb she tried to melt squeeze Parkay Yo momma's so dumb she tried to put m&ms in alphabetical order Yo momma's so dumb she used white out on a computer screen Yo momma's so dumb she uses Old Spice for cooking Yo momma's so dumb she wants to be a blonde Yo momma's so dumb she was born on Halloween and can't remember her birthday Yo momma's so dumb she was looking at a paper and I asked her what you doing? and she said watching paper view Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin Free Lays Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner with a sign that said Will eat for food Yo momma's so dumb she washes her hands in the toilet and craps in the sink Yo momma's so dumb she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes Yo momma's so dumb she wears a tshirt that says hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi Yo momma's so dumb she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said I think Ill take the physical challenge Yo momma's so dumb she went to a Whalers game to see Kiko Yo momma's so dumb she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu Yo momma's so dumb she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel Yo momma's so dumb she went to Burger King and thought she was a queen Yo momma's so dumb she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said Disney World Left so she went home Yo momma's so dumb she went to Dodger stadium and drowned in the waves Yo momma's so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a pap smear Yo momma's so dumb she went to Gap to fix her teeth Yo momma's so dumb she went to the McDonalds drive thru and drove through the window Yo momma's so dumb she went to Target with a handfull of darts and said lets play Yo momma's so dumb she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had Yo momma's so dumb she went to Walgreens to see if the walls were really green Yo momma's so dumb she wouldnt know up from down if she had three guesses Yo momma's so dumb she'd have to be twice as smart to become a halfwit Yo momma's so dumb she went to Shop Rite and shopped wrong Yo momma's so dumb that she got stabbed in a shoot out Yo momma's so dumb that she uses whiteout as her toothpaste Yo momma's so dumb that she went to a family reunion to look for a date Yo momma's so dumb that she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu Yo momma's so dumb that under Education on her job apllication she put Hooked on Phonics Yo momma's so dumb that when she surfed the internet she put a wetsuit on Yo momma's so dumb that when the judge in the courtroom said Order she said Fries and a coke please Yo momma's so dumb that when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean Yo momma's so dumb she snuck on the bus and paid to get off Yo momma's so dumb the worst six years of her life were grade three Yo momma's so dumb she likes to mop the carpet Yo momma's so dumb she lost her shadow Yo momma's so dumb she gave birth to you Yo momma's so dumb she gets lost in thought Yo momma's so dumb she tried to steal a free sample Yo momma's so dumb she tried to wake up a sleeping bag Yo momma's so dumb she ordered her sushi well done Yo momma's so dumb was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday Yo momma's so dumb when asked on an application Sex? she marked M F and sometimes Wednesday too Yo momma's so dumb when asked what a pronoun was she said a noun that gets paid Yo momma's so dumb when her daughter had a hart atack she dialed 911 on the microwave Yo momma's so dumb when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones Yo momma's so dumb when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one she said Ok but whats the teams? Yo momma's so dumb when I said we were playing craps she went and got toilet paper Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to squeal like a pig she said Moo Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to take the trash out, she moved Yo momma's so dumb when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver she said cherry or grape? Yo momma's so dumb when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore I said Guess and she said Ah Levis? Yo momma's so dumb when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved Yo momma's so dumb when she locked her keys in the car it took her all day to get yo family out Yo momma's so dumb when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like Vroom Screech Vroom Screech Yo momma's so dumb when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put OK Yo momma's so dumb when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thought she was in hell Yo momma's so dumb when she saw a Wrong Way sign in her rearview mirror she turned around Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends Yo momma's so dumb when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back Yo momma's so dumb when she took you to the airport and a sign said Airport Left she turned around and went home Yo momma's so dumb when she worked at McDonalds and someone ordered small fries she said Hey Boss all the small ones are gone Yo momma's so dumb when the computer said Press any key to continue she couldn't find the Any key Yo momma's so dumb when you she got pregnant she asked the doctor are you sure its mine? Yo momma's so dumb when you were born she looked at your umbilical cord and said Wow it comes with cable too Yo momma's so dumb you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is expired Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter Yo momma's so old her memory is in black and white Yo momma's so old her social security card is in roman numerals Yo momma's so old her social security number is 1 Yo momma's so old her breasts squirt out powderd milk Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything Yo momma's so old I looked in her year book and saw jesus Yo momma's so old i told her to act her age and she died Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer Yo momma's so old it looks like the Wrinkle Fairy tap danced on her face Yo momma's so old I've seen stale rasins with less wrinkles Yo momma's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark Yo momma's so old she babysat for Jesus Yo momma's so old she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight Yo momma's so old she co-wrote one of the Ten Commandments Yo momma's So old she dated moses Yo momma's so old she got hieroglyphics on her Driver license Yo momma's so old she got the first copy of the Ten Commandments Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook Yo momma's so old she has all the apostles in her black book Yo momma's so old she has an autographed bible Yo momma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince Yo momma's so old she knew Captain Crunch while he was still a private Yo momma's so old she knew Mr Clean when he had an afro Yo momma's so old she left her purse on noahs ark Yo momma's so old she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers Yo momma's so old she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp Yo momma's so old she owes Moses a quarter Yo momma's so old she recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch Yo momma's so old she remembers what life was like before the ice age Yo momma's so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur Yo momma's so old she uses her hot flashes to heat her cup of Tea Yo momma's so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her Yo momma's so old she went to an antiques auction and three people bid on her Yo momma's so old she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible Yo momma's so old that in the back seat of your car kids don't say Are we there yet they scream Is she Dead yet Yo momma's so old that she had Jesus tattoo the ten commandments on her back Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper Yo momma's So old she went blind from the big bang Yo momma's so old she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party Yo momma's so old she drove a chariot to high school Yo momma's so old that when God said let the be light she hit the switch Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class Yo momma's so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake Yo momma's so old the fire department are on standby when you light her birthday cake Yo momma's so old they ask to check her bags and she's not carrying any luggage Yo momma's so old vultures constantly circle her house Yo momma's so old when Moses parted the Red Sea he found her fishing on the other side Yo momma's so old when she gave birth, you came out with Dentures Yo momma's so old when she ran the 100 meter dash they timed her with a sundial Yo momma's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces Yo momma's so old when she was a kid there was no old spice it was called baby spice Yo momma's so old when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick Yo momma's so old when she was young rainbows were black and white Yo momma's so old you put her in a museum instead of an old folks home Yo momma's so po she can't even afford the last two letters Yo momma's so poor a hobo threw a cigarette on the floor and she said Thank God we have heat Yo momma's so poor burglars break in and leave money Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers Yo momma's so poor even the republicans were willing to give her welfare Yo momma's so poor her baloney ain't got no first name Yo momma's so poor her doormat doesnt say Welcome it says Welfare Yo momma's so poor her front and back doors are on the same hinge Yo momma's so poor I asked her what's for dinner and she pulled out a gun and said Next one who moves Yo momma's so poor I asked her where the facilities were and she replied Pick a corner, any corner Yo momma's so poor I caught her trying to use food stamps in a gumball machine Yo momma's so poor I lit a match in her house and the roaches started singing Clap your hands stomp your feet praise the Lord cause we got heat Yo momma's so poor I once threw a stone at a garbage can and out she popped saying Who knocked? Yo momma's so poor I saw her hanging the toilet paper out to dry Yo momma's so poor I saw her in the dumpster. I said what are you doing, she said grocery shopping Yo momma's so poor I saw her shaking a can around and asked her what she was doing and she said Redecorating Yo momma's so poor I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut Yo momma's so poor I stepped on her skateboard and she said Hey get off the car Yo momma's so poor I stepped through her front door and fell out the back Yo momma's so poor I visited her house, tore down the cob webs, and she screamed Whos taking down the drapes? Yo momma's so poor I walked into her home asked if I could use her toilet and she said Sure thing its 4th tree on your right Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said Hey who turned off the heater? Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and said Who turned off the lights? Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked to use the bathroom and she gave me two sticks I asked her what the sticks were for and she said Ones to hold up the ceiling the other is to fight off the roaches Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked to use the bathroom and she said Two buckets to your left Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked what was for dinner so she lit my pockets on fire and said Hot Pockets Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house two roaches tripped me and a rat stole my wallet Yo momma's so poor I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said Hey whered Grandma go? Yo momma's so poor I went into her house and saw a bunch of cockroaches sittin around the toilet singin We are family Yo momma's so poor I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard Yo momma's so poor only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice Yo momma's so poor she bought a tv with only two channels ON and OFF Yo momma's so poor she bounces food stamps Yo momma's so poor she can't afford to pay attention Yo momma's so poor she can't even put her two cents in this conversation Yo momma's so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus Yo momma's so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk Yo momma's so poor she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box Yo momma's so poor she has to take the trash IN Yo momma's so poor she has to wear her McDonalds uniform to church Yo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice Yo momma's so poor she put a Slurpee on layaway with food stamps Yo momma's so poor she put free samples on layaway Yo momma's so poor she tried to use food stamps in soda machines Yo momma's so poor she was in KMart with a box of Hefty bags I said What are you doing? She said Buying luggage Yo momma's so poor she watches television on an EtchASketch Yo momma's so poor she waves an ice cube around and calls it Air conditioning Yo momma's so poor she's got more furniture on her porch than in her house Yo momma's so poor that she uses tumbleweed as a Xmas tree Yo momma's so poor that when I stepped on a monopoly dollar she said get of my life savings Yo momma's so poor that when I walked into her house with a piece of bread and droped a crumb on the floor she said now clap your hands and stomp your feet praise the lord we got something to eat Yo momma's so poor the bank repossesed her cardboard box Yo momma's so poor the closest thing to a car she has is a lowrider shopping cart with a box on it Yo momma's so poor TV dinner trays are her good china Yo momma's so poor when I asked what was for dinner she pulled her shoelaces off and said Spagetti Yo momma's so poor when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said DING DONG Yo momma's so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush Yo momma's so poor when I sat on the couch a roach said Get the hell off I pay rent Yo momma's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street I asked her what she was doing she said ain't you ever seen a mobile home? Yo momma's so poor when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley I asked her what she was doing she said Remodeling Yo momma's so poor when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said Hey miss lost a shoe? she said Nope just found one Yo momma's so poor when I stepped on her doormat she said Hey you can't go upstairs Yo momma's so poor when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out Yo momma's so poor when I was taking family portraits for you and said Cheese she went looking for the line Yo momma's so poor when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate she said don't use the good china Yo momma's so poor when I went to use her bathroom I saw a roach sitting on a Pepsi who said "Wait your turn" Yo momma's so poor when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she growled don't use the good china Yo momma's so poor when yo family watches TV they go to Sears Yo momma's got 1 leg longer than other and they call her call her hip hop Yo momma's got 1 toe and 1 knee and they call her Tony Yo momma's got 3 toes and 3 knees and they call her Toni Tone Tony Yo momma's got 3 tongues and talks like this like this like this Yo momma's got a 4 dollar weave and don't know when to leave Yo momma's got a afro wit a chin strap Yo momma's got a bald head with a part and sideburns Yo momma's got a glass eye talkin bout she can see clearly now Yo momma's got a glass eye with a fish in it Yo momma's got a glass eye with a shade Yo momma's got a glass leg and uses Windex for lotion Yo momma's got a glass leg with KoolAid in it Yo momma's got a glass tooth with your fourth grade picture in it Yo momma's got a house that's so dusty the Cockroaches drive around in Dune Buggies Yo momma's got a leather wig with suede sideburns Yo momma's got a long sleeved bra Yo momma's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns Yo momma's got a pair of high top flip flops Yo momma's got a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns Yo momma's got a pegleg with a kickstand Yo momma's got a wait problem she can't wait to eat Yo momma's got a wheelchair with 5Star rims and a clutch Yo momma's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it Yo momma's got a wooden leg with a real foot Yo momma's got a wooden leg with advertisements stapled to it Yo momma's got a wooden leg with an owls nest in it Yo momma's got a wooden leg with branches Yo momma's got a wooden leg with termites Yo momma's got a wooden nipple and they call her Corky Yo momma's got an afro with a turn signal Yo momma's got an eagles nest wig Yo momma's got an eating disorder she be eating dis order dat order she be eating all the damn orders Yo momma's got an electric wig with a sunroof and opera lights Yo momma's got everything a man could want Yo momma's got fake hair fake eyes and fake nails talkin bout she wants a real man Yo momma's got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator Yo momma's got hit upside the head with an ugly stick Yo momma's got ingrown nipples Yo momma's got more chins than a Chinese phone book Yo momma's got more crack than Harlem Yo momma's got more crust than bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken Yo momma's got more weave than a dog in traffic Yo momma's got no arms or legs and when she goes swimmin they call her Bob Yo momma's got no ears and was trying on sunglasses Yo momma's got no fingers talking bout how she wanted to be with the Pointer Sisters Yo momma's got no fingers talking bout how she's gonna press charges Yo momma's got no fingers talking bout wanted to be with the Pointer sisters Yo momma's got no legs and always talking about how she used to kick it Yo momma's got no legs and tried out for track Yo momma's got no neck talkin bout how she's all choked up Yo momma's got one ear talking bout she wants to hear both sides of the story Yo momma's got one eye and one leg and they call her IHOP Yo momma's got one eye on the right and she's talkin bout Make this left Yo momma's got one eye one leg one arm and one knee and they call her UNO Yo momma's got one leg and people call her Ilene Yo momma's got one leg talkin bout ain't no half steppin Yo momma's got PlayDoh teeth Yo momma's got shark teeth Yo momma's got snakeskin teeth Yo momma's got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger Yo momma's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys Yo momma's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on Yo momma's got so many teeth missing it looks like her tounge is in jail Yo momma's got so much dandruff she needs to defrost it before she combs her hair Yo momma's got so much hair on her chest that her Breasts remind me of Coconuts Yo momma's got so much hair on her upper lip she has to braid it Yo momma's got so much hair under her arms it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock Yo momma's got so much weave AT&T uses her extensions as backup lines Yo momma's got so much weave when a fly goes by her hair swats at it Yo momma's got three fingers and a banjo Yo momma's got three fingers and runs around stealing bowling balls Yo momma's got three fingers talkin bout Gimme five Yo momma's got three teeth one in her mouth and two in her pocket Yo momma's got two fingers and she's a representative for world piece Yo momma's got two wooden legs and one is on backward Yo momma aint so bad she would give you the hair off of her back Yo momma's armpits are so hairy looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock Yo momma's arms are so short she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear Yo momma's ass is so fat she got arrested at the airport for having 20 lbs of crack Yo momma's ass so hairy it look like bob kings boitu to pop out and say open america Yo momma's ass is so huge she take up 5 rows in the cinema Yo momma's been on welfare so long they put her face on the food stamps Yo momma's blind and is seeing another man Yo momma's booty is so big if You tell her to haul ass she gotta make 2 trips Yo momma's breath must be taking karate because its really kickin Yo momma's breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck Yo momma's breath so bad she has to take prescription Tic Tac Yo momma's breath so bad she made a tic tac run away Yo momma's breath so stank needs odor eaters Yo momma's breath so stank we don't know whether you need gum or toilet paper Yo momma's breath so stank when she exhales her teeth have to duck Yo momma's breath so stinky she needs odor eaters Yo momma's breath so stinky when she exhales her teeth have to duck Yo momma's breath stinks so bad that people look forward to her farts Yo momma's butt is so big it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds Yo momma's butt is so bony she put her drawers on and cut them in two Yo momma's butt is so fat if you put numbers on it she could stamp license plates Yo momma's car's so ugly someone broke in just to steal The CLUB Yo momma's code so bloated she makes assembly look like C Yo momma's crosseyed and watches TV in stereo Yo momma's dial up internet is faster then her Yo momma's Did you know flies were given wings so that they could beat to the dump? Yo momma's Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well Yo momma's so poor she live in a flip flop Yo momma's drawers are so dirty the roaches check in but they don't check out Yo momma's ears got so much wax she got a job as a candle Yo momma's feet are so ashy it looks like she kicks flour for a living Yo momma's feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates Yo momma's feet are so big she could get a job helping Smokey the Bear stomp out forest fires Yo momma's feet are so stanky she should be charged with sock abuse Yo momma's feet so fat her sneakers need license plates Yo momma's feet so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes Yo momma's so fat she bit into a school bus and said where's the cream filling Yo momma's forehead is so big you could show slides on it Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving Yo momma's so grouchy the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals Yo momma's gums so black she spits Chocolate Milk Yo momma's gums so black that she spits Yoo hoo Yo momma's hair so greasy you could fry a chiken in it Yo momma's hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it Yo momma's hair so short she curls it with rice Yo momma's hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches Yo momma's has 10 fingers, all on the same hand Yo momma's has 3 eyes and they call her Eyeeyeeye Yo momma's has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses Yo momma's has a fro with landing lights Yo momma's has a glass eye with a fish in it Yo momma's has a major weight problem she can't wait to eat Yo momma's has a moustache and they call her Bob Yo momma's has a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns Yo momma's has a short arm and can't applaude Yo momma's has a short leg and walks in circles Yo momma's has a wooden afro with an X carved in the back Yo momma's has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it Yo momma's has green hair and thinks she's a tree Yo momma's has no arms and bought a vest Yo momma's has one arm and swims in circles Yo momma's has one arm and when she fights the announcer says She throws a right a right and another right Yo momma's has one hand and a Clapper Yo momma's has one leg and a bicycle Yo momma's has one leg and swims in circles Yo momma's has one tooth and they call her Chopper One Yo momma's has one tooth and they call her DrillBit Yo momma's has one tooth in the front and one tooth in the back talkin bout let me get a bite Yo momma's has so many vericose veins her body could double as a road map Yo momma's has so much hair on her upper lip she braids it Yo momma's has so much wax in her ears I stuck a QTip in and pulled out a Sugar Daddy Yo momma's head so big it shows up on radar Yo momma's head so big she don't have dreams she have movies Yo momma's head so big she has to step into her shirts Yo momma's head so fat she has to wash her hair at Niagara falls Yo momma's head so little could wear fruit loops as head rags Yo momma's head so nappy when she combs her hair her teeth bleed Yo momma's head so small she use a teabag as a pillow Yo momma's head so small that she got her ear pierced and died Yo momma's hips are so big people set their drinks on them Yo momma's house so damned cold the roaches ice skate around the kitchen Yo momma's house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies Yo momma's house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside Yo momma's house so small her washcloth makes wall to wall carpeting Yo momma's house so small she can't even order a large pizza Yo momma's house so small that I put my Key in the doorlock and broke the freakin back window Yo momma's house so small the doormat just says WEL Yo momma's house so small you have to go outside to change your mind I don't mean to be mean but yo momma needs listerine not a sip not a swallow but the whole damn bottle I get up faster then yo momma's falls I got notin bad to say about yo momma, heck her face says it all I got on the train last night they had a new sign up reading Maximum Occupancy: 200 Patrons OR Yo momma I heard that yo momma is on the warpath, she lost a finger and now can't count past 9 I heard yo house was made out of toilet paper why? cuz your whole family is full of crap I saw yo momma kicking a can down the street I asked her what she was doing and she said moving I was speaking to your parents they told me you was such an ugly baby they had to feed you with a slingshot I was walking down the street with yo momma and they started shooting they said hit the dirt and everyone jumped on back If my dog had a face as ugly as yo momma's I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards Yo momma's in a wheelchair and says You ain't gonna push me round no more Yo momma's is not really so bad I hear she would give you the hair off her back Yo momma's is twice the man you are Yo momma's is ugly she is ugly as sin Yo momma's legs are so hairy if she had fur coat and a banana they'd stick her in a zoo. Yo momma's legs are so short she can swing them from a curve Yo momma's like 7up never had it never will Yo momma's like a bowling ball she always winds up in the gutter Yo momma's like spoiled milk fat and chunky Yo momma's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair Yo momma's lips so big Chap Stick had to invent a spray Yo momma's may be old but she still parties like its 1899 Yo momma's mouth so big it takes her an hour to put on her lipstick Yo momma's mouth so big she speaks in surround sound Yo momma's neck so damn wrinkled I use it as a cheese grater Yo momma's nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat Yo momma's nose so big the last time I saw one like it it was attached to an elephant Yo momma's nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers Yo momma's only got one finger and runs around stealing key rings Yo momma's sets off car alarms when she runs Yo momma's smells so bad she went to Taco Bell and everyone ran for the border Yo momma's smells so bad when she went to make friends with a skunk the skunk got hit by a truck on purpose Yo momma's so backwards she sits on the TV and watches the couch Yo momma's so bad I think its a new world record Yo momma's so bad when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty Yo momma's so bald even a wig wouldnt help Yo momma's so bald Mr Clean got jealous Yo momma's so bald she curls her hair with rice Yo momma's so bald that she took a shower and got brainwashed Yo momma's so bald that when she put on a sweater folk thought she was a roll on deoderant Yo momma's so bald you can see whats on her mind Yo momma's so boring she makes debugging Prolog seem fun Yo momma's so cheap instead of buying a fire alarm she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling Yo momma's so crazy she makes pi look rational Yo momma's so damn strange that she invented a waterproof teabag Yo momma's so damn ugly she makes Anne Ramsey look like J Lo Yo momma's so dirty a family of mice inhabit her belly button Yo momma's so dirty her Sure deodorant is now Confused Yo momma's so dirty she actually repels mosquitoes Yo momma's so dirty she gives me ring around the collar Yo momma's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater Yo momma's so dirty she leaves a ring around the public swimming pool Yo momma's so dirty she lost 2 pounds after taking a shower Yo momma's so dirty she made right guard turn left Yo momma's so dirty she makes mud look clean Yo momma's so dirty she slowed down speed stick Yo momma's so dirty skunks give her house a wide berth Yo momma's so dirty that even the Swamp Thing insisted she showered Yo momma's so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to use as chemical weapons Yo momma's so dirty that standin next to a tramp she make the tramp look like a butler Yo momma's so dirty they filmed Gorillas in the mist in her shower Yo momma's so dirty when her drill sergant said hit the dirt everyone started hitting her. Yo momma's so dirty you can tell her age by the rings underneath her armpits Yo momma's so evil she makes the devil look like a good guy Yo momma's so fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton Yo momma's so fat when she walks her butt claps Yo momma's so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby Yo momma's so big her belly buttons got an echo Yo momma's so big it takes her 2 hours just to haul ass Yo momma's so big she can't wear an X jacket cause choppers keep landing on her back Yo momma's so big she plays marbles with planets Yo momma's so big she rollerskates on busses Yo momma's so big she thought Barnum and Bailey were clothing designers Yo momma's so big she uses a jungle gym for a walker Yo momma's so big she uses big bird as a rubber ducky Yo momma's so big she uses bowling balls for earrings Yo momma's so big she uses I95 for a Slip n Slide Yo momma's so big she uses the interstate for a Slip n Slide Yo momma's so big she wears two watches one for each time zone Yo momma's so big she whistles bass Yo momma's so big that her graduation picture had to be an aerial view Yo momma's so big that she climbed Mt Fuji with one step Yo momma's so big that they had to change One size fits all to One size fits most Yo momma's so big they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling Yo momma's so big when she bent down to tie her shoes her face got burnt from reentry Yo momma's so big when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide Yo momma's so big when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody Yo momma's so big when she stands up the sun goes out Yo momma's so big when she took a trip to China the chinese people screamed "GODZILLA!!" Yo momma's so big when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway Yo momma's so big when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white Yo momma's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck Yo momma's so fat when I watch tv and she walks in front of it I miss 3 episodes of my show Yo momma's so fat her legs are like spoiled milk: white and chunky Yo momma's so fat when you went to the beach a blue whale wanted her children Yo momma's so fat a picture of her fell off the wall Yo momma's so fat after she got off the carousel the horse limped for a week Yo momma's so fat all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor Yo momma's so fat and dumb she used saturn's ring as a hula hoop Yo momma's so fat and her back so crooked when she lays down people say I didn't know we had mountains Yo momma's so fat and old that when God said let there be ight he told her to move her fat ass out of the way Yo momma's so fat and short and yo daddy so tall and skinny they stand next to each other and make the number 10 Yo momma's so fat and stupid her waist size is larger than her IQ Yo momma's so fat and stupid that she was fired from Forrest Gump cuz she kept eating the box of chocolates Yo momma's so fat and you're so poor when she comes in your house the tires pop Yo momma's so fat as a kid she couldn't play Hidenseek just seek Yo momma's so fat at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts Yo momma's so fat by the time she sets her clock its an hour off Yo momma's so fat that Goodyear come to her to restock on tires Yo momma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction Yo momma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks Yo momma's so fat even her shadow has stretch marks Yo momma's so fat even Richard Simmons laughs at her Yo momma's so fat every time she turn around its her next birthday Yo momma's so fat every time she wears high heels she strikes oil Yo momma's so fat Fat Albert gave her the rights to say Hey hey hey Yo momma's so fat folk exercise by jogging around her Yo momma's so fat God created her and on the seventh day he rested Yo momma's so fat her ass has its own congressman Yo momma's so fat her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud Yo momma's so fat her belly button doesnt have lint it has sweaters Yo momma's so fat her belly button has got an echo Yo momma's so fat her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine Yo momma's so fat her belt size is the equator Yo momma's so fat her big toe got stuck in the catflap Yo momma's so fat her blood type is ragu Yo momma's so fat her blood type is rockyroad Yo momma's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes Yo momma's so fat her car is made out of spandex Yo momma's so fat her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard Yo momma's so fat her doctor is a grounds keeper Yo momma's so fat her drivers license says Picture continued on other side Yo momma's so fat her favorite food is seconds Yo momma's so fat her favorite blouse is a tent Yo momma's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs Yo momma's so fat her nickname is Damn Yo momma's so fat her parents had to take her to sea world to get baptized Yo momma's so fat her picture takes two frames Yo momma's so fat her shadow weighs 50 pounds Yo momma's so fat her skates went flat Yo momma's so fat her stomach got a cell phone to call her mouth when its time to eat Yo momma's so fat her tailor takes her measurements in light years Yo momma's so fat her toes bleed when she walks Yo momma's so fat her yearbook picture is an aerial photograph Yo momma's so fat I can't see around her Yo momma's so fat I gain weight just by watching her eat Yo momma's so fat I gotta take 3 steps back just to see all of her Yo momma's so fat I had to take 2 planes 3 buses and 5 cabs just to get on her good side Yo momma's so fat I ran around her twice and got lost Yo momma's so fat I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4 5 6 7 and 8 Yo momma's so fat I saw her in New York and when I told my friend in LA he'd seen her too Yo momma's So fat I shot her and Crisco came out Yo momma's so fat I swerved to miss her but ran out of gas Yo momma's so fat I think its a new world record Yo momma's So fat if she got her shoes shined she would have to take the guys word for it Yo momma's so fat if she weighed five more pounds she could get group insurance Yo momma's so fat if she were an airplane she'd be a jumbo jet Yo momma's so fat instead of Levis 501 jeans she wears Levis 1002s Yo momma's so fat instead of wide leg jeans she wears wide load Yo momma's so fat it takes a forklift to help her stand up Yo momma's so fat it takes a year to download her picture Yo momma's so fat I've known her all my life and I still havent seen ALL of her Yo momma's so fat when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo people walked by and said Look at the elephant Yo momma's so fat McDonalds has to change their sign every time she eats Yo momma's so fat my dog bit her and died of high cholesterol Yo momma's so fat NASA has a satellite orbiting around her Yo momma's so fat NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer Yo momma's so fat no one can talk behind her back Yo momma's so fat on a scale of 1 to 10 she's a 747 Yo momma's so fat on each of her butt cheeks she has Place Your Ad Here printed Yo momma's so fat on Halloween she says trick or meatloaf Yo momma's so fat on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time Yo momma's so fat one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling Hey the School Bus is here Yo momma's so fat people use her dandruff as quilts Yo momma's so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth Yo momma's so fat she ain't on a diet, she's on a Triet, she's all like Whatever yo eating I'll try it Yo momma's so fat she broke a branch off of the family tree Yo momma's so fat she broke her leg and gravy dripped out Yo momma's so fat she bungee jumped and fell straight to Hell Yo momma's so fat she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change Yo momma's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion Yo momma's so fat she has to have you tie her shoes for her Yo momma's so fat she can't reach her back pocket Yo momma's so fat she can't wear Daisy Dukes She has to wear Boss Hoggs Yo momma's so fat she could be the eighth continent Yo momma's so fat she could sell shade Yo momma's so fat she deep fries her toothpaste Yo momma's so fat she did a back flip and landed on the moon Yo momma's so fat she DJs for the ice cream truck Yo momma's so fat she doesnt have love handles she has a roll bar Yo momma's so fat she don't eat Wheat Thins she eats Wheat Thicks Yo momma's so fat she don't know whether she's walking or rolling Yo momma's so fat she don't wear a GString she wears an A B C D E F G String Yo momma's so fat she eats biscuits like tic tacs Yo momma's so fat she eats cereal out of a satellite dish Yo momma's so fat she eats desert out of a Trash Can lid Yo momma's so fat she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles Yo momma's so fat she entered a fat contest and won first second and third Yo momma's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon Yo momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it Yo momma's so fat she fell off a boat and the captain yelled Land Ho Yo momma's so fat she fills up the bath tub and then she turns on the water Yo momma's so fat she freebases ham Yo momma's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra fat jumbo and ohmygoditscomingtowardsus Yo momma's so fat she gets runs in her jeans Yo momma's so fat she gets stuck in her dreams Yo momma's so fat she gobbles down Cookies as if they were tictacs Yo momma's so fat she goes to a restaurant looks at the menu and says Okay Yo momma's so fat she got a gravitational pull Yo momma's so fat she got a new job at the Cinema, she works as the screen Yo momma's so fat she got a speed pass for Dairy Queen Yo momma's so fat she got her baby pictures taken by satellite Yo momma's so fat she got hit by a truck and asked Who threw that rock? Yo momma's so fat she got tired climbing the escalater Yo momma's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway Yo momma's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets Yo momma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon Yo momma's so fat she had to be baptized in the Atlantic Ocean Yo momma's so fat she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan Yo momma's so fat she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole Yo momma's so fat she has a parttime job as a trampoline Yo momma's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand Yo momma's so fat she has all the caterers on speed dial Yo momma's so fat she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas English Muffin Yo momma's so fat she has smaller fat women orbiting her Yo momma's so fat she has TB: Two bellies Yo momma's so fat she has to get out of the car to change gears Yo momma's so fat she has to get out of the car to change the radio station Yo momma's so fat she has to go outside to put on deodorant Yo momma's so fat she has to go outside to sit around the house Yo momma's so fat she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets Yo momma's so fat she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other Yo momma's so fat she has to put a bookmarker in her rolls to find her belly button Yo momma's so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang Yo momma's so fat she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master Yo momma's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper Yo momma's so fat she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks Yo momma's so fat she has to wear a long sleeved turtleneck bra Yo momma's so fat she has to wear a three piece bathing suit Yo momma's so fat when her beeper goes off people turn around to see if she is backin up Yo momma's so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck Yo momma's so fat she jumped in a pool and cause a tidal wave Yo momma's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy Yo momma's so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water Yo momma's so fat she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub Yo momma's so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops Yo momma's so fat she lost a game at Hide&Seek only because I spotted her behind Mount Everest Yo momma's so fat she made Richard Simmons cry Yo momma's so fat she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic Yo momma's so fat she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic Yo momma's so fat she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck Yo momma's so fat she makes Free Willy look like a TicTac Yo momma's so fat she measures 36 24 36 and the other arm is just as big Yo momma's so fat she nearly put Safeway out of business Yo momma's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up Yo momma's so fat she needs a map to find her butt Yo momma's so fat she once told me she could eat a horse, and she wasn't kidding Yo momma's so fat she once went on a seafood diet, whenever she saw food she ate it Yo momma's so fat she plays frisbee with ufos Yo momma's so fat she plays hopscotch like this: LA Detroit Chicago New York Yo momma's so fat she pulls up a chair to an all-you-can-eat buffet Yo momma's so fat she put on a red outfit and people mistaked her for the KoolAid man Yo momma's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller Yo momma's so fat she put on some BVDs and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard Yo momma's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin Yo momma's so fat she ran outside in a yellow dress all the kids started running after her cause they thought they missed the bus Yo momma's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar Yo momma's so fat she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider Yo momma's so fat she sat on a dollar and made change Yo momma's so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washingtons nose Yo momma's so fat she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy Yo momma's so fat she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles Yo momma's so fat she sat on a rowing machine and it sank Yo momma's so fat she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic Yo momma's so fat she sat on the Bible and Jesus popped out Yo momma's so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said "Stop That Twinkie!" Yo momma's so fat she shaves her legs with a lawn mower Yo momma's so fat she shops for clothes in the local tent shop Yo momma's so fat she smells like bacon at 90 degrees Yo momma's so fat she started singing we are family McDonalds Burger King and me Yo momma's so fat she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number Yo momma's so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it said Please step out of the car Yo momma's so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her Sorry we don't do livestock Yo momma's so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine Yo momma's so fat she steps on a scale and it said one at a time please Yo momma's so fat she stole my pillow cases when she ran outta socks Yo momma's so fat she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H D Yo momma's so fat she sweats Crisco Yo momma's so fat she takes baths in swimming pools Yo momma's so fat she takes posters not pictures Yo momma's so fat she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand Yo momma's so fat she thinks Church's Chickens a holy place Yo momma's so fat she thought gravy was a beverage Yo momma's so fat she tried to get an all over tan and the sun burned out Yo momma's so fat she tripped on WalMart fell over Kmart and landed right on Target Yo momma's so fat she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn Yo momma's so fat she uses a laptop as a cell phone Yo momma's so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm Yo momma's so fat she uses a blanket as a washcloth Yo momma's so fat she uses C++++ Yo momma's so fat she uses navy ships as jet skis Yo momma's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth Yo momma's so fat she uses sleeping bags for leg warmers Yo momma's so fat she uses the carpet as a blanket Yo momma's so fat she wakes up in sections Yo momma's so fat she walked in front of the tv and I missed 3 commercials Yo momma's so fat she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth Yo momma's so fat she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease and the doctor gave her 17 years to live Yo momma's so fat she was floating in the Atlantic ocean and Spain claimed her as a New World Yo momma's so fat she was in the New York Times last week on page 5 6 7 8 and 9 Yo momma's so fat she was zoned for commercial development Yo momma's so fat she wears a hula hoop for a belly button ring Yo momma's so fat she wears a Microwave as a beeper Yo momma's so fat she wears a real horse on her Polo shirt Yo momma's so fat she wears a sign that says Caution Wide Turn Yo momma's so fat she wears an asteroid belt Yo momma's so fat she went on a light diet, and as soon as its light she starts eating Yo momma's so fat she went to Jenny Craigs and they said we asked for your weight not your phone number Yo momma's so fat she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy Yo momma's so fat she went to Sizzler and got a group discount Yo momma's so fat she's got her own zip code Yo momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book Yo momma's so fat she's moving the Earth out of its orbit Yo momma's so fat she's on both side of the family Yo momma's so fat she's once twice three times a lady Yo momma's so fat she's taller lying down Yo momma's so fat someone tries to take a picture of her with a digital camera and it read Not Enough Space Yo momma's so fat stunt agencies use her as an air mattress Yo momma's so fat that she needs a solar panel to see her reflection Yo momma's so fat that she went to the beach, dove, and the Asians said tsunami Yo momma's so fat that she would have been in ET but when she rode the bike across the moon she caused an eclipse Yo momma's so fat that when she fell no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up Yo momma's so fat that when she put on a white jacket everybody yells look its the Michelin Man Yo momma's so fat that when she walks across the living room the radio skips Yo momma's so fat that when she was born she gave the hospital stretch marks Yo momma's so fat that when she went on a scale it reads To Infinity and Beyond Yo momma's so fat that when she went to sea world the little kids ran away and told their parents that a whale escaped Yo momma's so fat that when u were born they had to send out a search party to find you Yo momma's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her Yo momma's so fat the body snatchers called home for backup Yo momma's so fat the circus use her as a trampoline Yo momma's so fat the earth orbits around her instead of the sun Yo momma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear Caution Wide Turn Yo momma's so fat the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale Yo momma's so fat the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts Yo momma's so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures Yo momma's so fat the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms Yo momma's so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door Yo momma's so fat the only thing thats attracted to her is gravity Yo momma's so fat they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through Yo momma's so fat they had to install speed bumps at the all-you-can-eat buffet Yo momma's so fat they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops Yo momma's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it Yo momma's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping Yo momma's so fat to her light food means under 4 Tons Yo momma's so fat she's in shape, round Yo momma's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet Yo momma's so fat when a cop saw her he told her Hey you two break it up Yo momma's so fat when brought her dress to the cleaners the people said sorry we don't do curtains Yo momma's so fat when I yell KoolAid she comes crashing through the wall Yo momma's so fat when it says all-you-can-eat it still ain't enough Yo momma's so fat when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she got the part as the big rolling ball Yo momma's so fat when she bends over we enter Daylight Saving Time Yo momma's so fat when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too Yo momma's so fat when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale Yo momma's so fat when she crosses the street cars look out for her Yo momma's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips Yo momma's so fat when she farted she launched herself into orbit Yo momma's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again Yo momma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesnt get a menu she gets an estimate Yo momma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she even orders Thank You Come Again Yo momma's so fat when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER Yo momma's so fat when she goes to an office they tell her to pull up a sofa Yo momma's so fat when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks Where can I try that on? Yo momma's so fat when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings Yo momma's so fat when she goes to the drycleaners and hands in her underwear they say sorry no parachutes accepted Yo momma's so fat when she jumps into the pool the other swimmers can go surfing Yo momma's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun Yo momma's so fat when she opens the Fridge it says I give up Yo momma's so fat when she ordered a My Size Meal at McDonalds they gave her the key to the store Yo momma's so fat when she ordered a waterbed they put a blanket over the ocean Yo momma's so fat when she played hide-and-go-seek she hid behind a water tower Yo momma's so fat when she ran away they had to put her picture on the milk truck Yo momma's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon it looks like she's wearin tights Yo momma's so fat when she sat on a TV it turned into a flat screen Yo momma's so fat when she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house Yo momma's so fat when she sits in a chair the rolls on her legs cover her feet like a blanket Yo momma's so fat when she sits in the classroom she sits next to everyone Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet Yo momma's so fat when she tiptoes everyone yells Stampede Yo momma's so fat when she tries to get outta bed she rocks herself back to sleep Yo momma's so fat when she turns around people give her a welcome back party Yo momma's so fat when she was born she didn't get a birth certificate she got blue prints Yo momma's so fat when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning Yo momma's so fat when she wears a Malcomn X Tshirt helicopters try to land on her back Yo momma's so fat when she wears a purple sweater people call her Barney Yo momma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people run after her and call Taxi Yo momma's so fat when she went to the Rose Parade everyone thought she was a float Yo momma's so fat when she wore a shirt with an AA on it people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet Yo momma's so fat when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted she said the one on the roof Yo momma's so fat when the police showed her a picture of her feet she couldn't identify them Yo momma's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in Yo momma's so fat you could slap her butt and ride the waves Yo momma's so fat you can use her ass as a slippery slide Yo momma's so fat your family portrait has stretchmarks Yo momma's so fat shes got stretch marks on her teeth Yo momma's so fat that she was asked to star as the whale in the movie Moby Dick Yo momma's so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper Yo momma's so flat she's jealous of the wall Yo momma's so dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone she'd tell her momma to put Mick Jagger on child support Yo momma's so nasty I talked to her over the PC and she gave me a virus Yo momma's so cheap she washes paper plates Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the doctor said put her back she ain't done yet Yo momma's so greasy her freckles slipped off Yo momma's so greasy her idea of bottled water is the left over oil slime from a bacon sausage and egg fry up Yo momma's so greasy McDonalds uses her sweat as Deep Fry Yo momma's so greasy she sweats butter syrup, excretes jam, and has a full time job at the Pancake Palace wiping pancakes across her forheed Yo momma's so greasy Texaco buys oil from her Yo momma's so greasy when she slid into second she ended in detroit Yo momma's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture Yo momma's so hairy Jane Goodall follows her around Yo momma's so hairy looks like a chia pet with a sweater on Yo momma's So hairy she got a trim and lost 10 pounds Yo momma's so hairy she got in my car and it looked like I had tinted windows Yo momma's So hairy she shaves with a weedwacker Yo momma's So lazy she doesnt walk in her sleep she hitch hikes Yo momma's so lazy she thinks a two income family is where yo daddy has two jobs Yo momma's so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote Yo momma's so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon Yo momma's so nasty a skunk smelled her ass and passed out Yo momma's so nasty I called her to say hello and she ended up giving me an ear infection Yo momma's so nasty I need to go wash my eyes Yo momma's so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off Yo momma's so nasty she bit the dog and gave it rabies Yo momma's so nasty she went swimming and made the Dead Sea Yo momma's so nasty when I went to your house said whats for dinner put her foot up on the table and said Corn Yo momma's so short she can do backflips under her bed Yo momma's so short she can play handball on the curb Yo momma's so short she did a sucide jump off the curve Yo momma's so short she gotta slamdunk her bus fare Yo momma's so short she has to cuff her underwear Yo momma's so short she has to jump to touch the ground Yo momma's so short she has to reach up to tie her shoe Yo momma's so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime Yo momma's so short she models for trophies Yo momma's so short that she has to hold up a sign that says don't spit I can't swim Yo momma's so short you can see her feet on her drivers license Yo momma's so skinny if she had a yeast infection she'd be a Quarter Pounder with Cheese Yo momma's so skinny instead of calling her your parent you call her transparent Yo momma's so skinny she can dodge rain drops Yo momma's so skinny she can see out the peephole with both eyes Yo momma's so skinny she gotta run around in the shower to get wet Yo momma's so skinny she had to stand in the same place twice to cast a shadow Yo momma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex Yo momma's so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo momma's so skinny she uses Chapstick for deodorant Yo momma's so skinny you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio Yo momma's so skinny you could blindfold her with dental floss Yo momma's so slow I could beat her in a race even if I was asleep Yo momma's so slow I run laps around her Yo momma's so slow I walk faster then she runs Yo momma's so slow it takes her 2 days just to wake up from the day before Yo momma's so slow it takes her 2 days to take a bath Yo momma's so slow she can't catch a turtle Yo momma's so slow she can't even catch her own breath Yo momma's so slow she forgets what she is thinking before she even think of it Yo momma's so slow she has been leaving for 2 hours Yo momma's so slow she has not even signed up for the race yet and its already over Yo momma's so slow she hasn't even started Yo momma's so slow she is still at home Yo momma's so slow she is still back in 1999 Yo momma's so slow she is still being born Yo momma's so slow she is still finishing yesterdays race Yo momma's so slow she is still on the first word of this insult Yo momma's so slow she makes a turtle look fast Yo momma's so slow she makes the DMV seem fast Yo momma's so slow she needs the car just to go check the mail box Yo momma's so smelly even sewer rats get outta her way Yo momma's so smelly her poo is glad to escape Yo momma's so smelly she made Right Guard call for backup Yo momma's so smelly she was playing in my Sand Box and the cat came along and buried her Yo momma's so smelly so the government make her wear a Biohazard warning Yo momma's so smelly that farmers use her bathwater as liquid fertilizer Yo momma's so smelly that standing next to a skunk the skunk smells sweet Yo momma's so smelly that the gasmask became a fashion statement Yo momma's so smelly that the only dis I'm gonna give her is Disinfectent Yo momma's so smelly that when you was being born the doctors and nurses all had to wear oxygen masks Yo momma's so stank she made Right Guard go left Speed Stick slow down and Ban come off strike Yo momma's so stank she made Right Guard go left Speed Stick slow down and Secret told it all Yo momma's so stinky she gets sourdough yeast infections Yo momma's so stinky dogs like to roll around on her Yo momma's so stinky the coroner picked her up while she was sleeping Yo momma's so stinky they had to invent Chanel No 6 Yo momma's so tall she did a pushup and burned her back on the sun Yo momma's so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida Yo momma's so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon Yo momma's so ugly looks like she was hit by the whole ugly tree Yo momma's so ugly even the Elephant Man makes jokes about her Yo momma's so ugly even the elephant man paid to see her Yo momma's so ugly even the tide wont take her out Yo momma's so ugly for Christmas they hang her and kiss the mistletoe Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone Yo momma's so ugly had to get her baby drunk just so she could breast feed Yo momma's so ugly her Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye Yo momma's so ugly her dentist treats her by mail order Yo momma's so ugly her face can stop a sun dial Yo momma's so ugly her face is like a peice of modern art, you can't tell what it is Yo momma's so ugly her momma had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her Yo momma's so ugly her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel Yo momma's so ugly her pillow cries at night Yo momma's so ugly her reflection in the mirror ducks Yo momma's so ugly her shadow gave up Yo momma's so ugly hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats Yo momma's so ugly I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo Yo momma's so ugly I said her name at the dinner table and my mom said shhh not when we are eating Yo momma's so ugly I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application Yo momma's so ugly I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a pay check Yo momma's so ugly I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said Thanks for bringing her back Yo momma's so ugly if she were a scarecrow the corn would run away Yo momma's so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects Yo momma's so ugly if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle they put it around her neck Yo momma's so ugly it looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down Yo momma's so ugly it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym Yo momma's so ugly it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born her momma said What a treasure and her father said Yes lets go bury it Yo momma's so ugly kids dress up as her for Halloween Yo momma's so ugly Medusa is jealous Yo momma's so ugly my dog took one look at her and ran away Yo momma's so ugly people at the circus pay money not to see her Yo momma's so ugly people hang her picture in their basements to scare the rats away Yo momma's so ugly people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen Yo momma's so ugly she can look up a camels butt and scare the hump off of it Yo momma's so ugly she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step Yo momma's so ugly she could scare Cujo off a meat truck Yo momma's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper Yo momma's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock Yo momma's so ugly Rice Krispies wont talk to her Yo momma's so ugly roaches go Hi mom Yo momma's so ugly she didn't get hit with an ugly stick but with THE ugly log Yo momma's so ugly she didn't get hit with the ugly stick she ran through the whole damn forest Yo momma's so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween Yo momma's so ugly she gets 7 years bad luck when ever trying to look at herself in the mirror Yo momma's so ugly she got arrested for vandalizing a mirror shop Yo momma's so ugly she has a sign in her yard that says Beware of Dog Yo momma's so ugly she has to creep up on her makeup Yo momma's so ugly she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning Yo momma's so ugly she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork Yo momma's so ugly she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks Yo momma's so ugly she made a blind man cry Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry Yo momma's so ugly she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt Yo momma's so ugly she put the Boogie man outta business Yo momma's so ugly she scared the stitches off Frankenstein Yo momma's so ugly she threw a boomerang and it wouldnt even come back Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out Yo momma's so ugly she was on Ripleys Believe it or Not Yo momma's so ugly she works as a double for Saddam Hussein Yo momma's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road Yo momma's so ugly she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness Yo momma's so ugly she's never seen herself cause the mirrors keep breaking Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were an Olympic event she would be the dream team Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd be building a highrise Yo momma's so ugly that she went to an ugly contest and they said sorry no professionals Yo momma's so ugly that when I put my butt out the window and she put her face out the window people thought we were twins Yo momma's so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face Yo momma's so ugly that when she went out the zoo the zookeeper said Get back to your cage Yo momma's so ugly the doctor is still smacking her ass Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday Yo momma's so ugly the last time I saw something that looked like her I pinned a tail on it Yo momma's so ugly the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train Yo momma's so ugly the mailman mistaked her as the dog Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life Yo momma's so ugly the ProLifers would make an exception in her case Yo momma's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie face down Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars Yo momma's so ugly they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower Yo momma's so ugly they gave her a middle name: accident Yo momma's so ugly they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a milk carton and it spoiled Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a poster for abstinence Yo momma's so ugly they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks Yo momma's so ugly you have to put her in the kennel when we go on vacation Yo momma's so ugly when born the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows Yo momma's so ugly when I last saw a mouth like hers it had a hook in it Yo momma's so ugly when she gets up the sun goes down Yo momma's so ugly when she moved into the projects all her neighbors chipped in for curtains Yo momma's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes Yo momma's so ugly when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September people say Wow is it Halloween already? Yo momma's so ugly when she walks in the kitchen the rats jump on the table and start screaming Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off the surveillance cameras Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the Doc smacked her face Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the doctor looked at her ass then her face and said Twins Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the doctor smacked the wrong end Yo momma's so ugly when she went camping the park ranger was like Hey Yogi Yo momma's so ugly when she went to the store and someone said no dogs please Yo momma's so ugly when the terminator said Ill be back he left running Yo momma's so ugly when the when she was born the doctors spanked her parents Yo momma's so ugly Yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time Yo momma's so ugly when she went to Iraq they said We surrender Yo momma's so cheap when she saw a penny on the floor she said son we won the lottery Yo momma's so wrinkled she has to screw her hat on Yo momma's talks so much her mouth is like a convenience store, open 24 hours a day Yo momma's teeth are so big she bit down on a piece of gum and cut her own toenails Yo momma's teeth are so black she spits ink Yo momma's teeth are so rotten it looks like her tongue is in jail Yo momma's teeth are so rotten when she smiles they look like dice Yo momma's teeth are so yellow cars slow down when she smiles Yo momma's teeth are so yellow Dorothy and Toto thought it was the Yellow Brick Road Yo momma's teeth so yellow she could get a job a the movie theater spittin on popcorn |